Her name is Noelle,
She’s ugly as hell,
And she bites her nails
And goes to fake sales;
She smells like a fish,
A putrid soap dish.
She’s a platinum blonde
Permanently stoned,
She clings like clear wrap,
Exposes her strap
And hides it all beneath
A floating, black sheath…
She orders a sandwich
Conceals her facial twitch
How does she eat it?
Oh, why can’t she beat it?
She laughs like a cow,
She cannot guess how
She’d be better off
If she’d stop strutting her stuff.
She wants some laughing gas,
Gives a whole new meaning to crass,
Pretends to be demure,
Faking it, that’s for sure…
Her lips are bee-stung,
Oh, why can’t she be hung?
That distant, faraway look
Gets her off the hook.
This mate is a check,
Oh, darn, what the heck,
She’s leading the way,
Stealing the light of day;
She’s probably singing to some
Unlucky shutter-bug back home.
That dreamy soft-focusing
Will get you thrown out the ring…
A face like a clock,
A body to shock,
A disco to shake some booty,
Believing that’s her duty.
Booking my place,
Spreading disgrace,
The blackness enveloping
A friendship developing;
Someone so benign
Compares her heart to mine,
She’s never the best,
She’s just like the rest.
Each day a new one,
Oh, go have your byte of fun,
But I was the very first
To quench your perpetual thirst;
You’re in love with me,
But you’ll never see
The other side I’ve got
Other than super-hot.
They’re all just illusions,
I’ve got no delusions,
My love is the best,
You should have guessed…
We’re together in my mind,
I’ve left these trifling wannabes behind,
It’s easy to see
You’re happiest with me;
More than all of them put together,
They’re all just rainy weather
All washed-out and desperate
Ain’t none of them got my spirit;
I’m so glad I have you
I’m the only one who’s true
Cuz when no one’s around you,
My love will astound you…
