Paradise: In The Circle Of Your Arms

One step at a time. You guided me

Each step of the way, holding me firmly
When I was slipping into
An easy web, glittering; glowing with evil.
So simply you brushed away the complex tangles,
Revealing something that was there all along,
Just waiting to be discovered by you, and by me.
We made the place, and the promise, all our own.
Trysts of the heart. You made me feel
Like every word of love, and each gesture of adoration
Was created for you, by me,
Limitless; as far as expression can reach.
Feelings do not have barriers; they cannot be contained
And why should they be controlled?
I was waiting to drain the draughts of love from my being;
You became the channel to your own heart.
Love is not blind. For my eyes observe in you
Qualities that blind the world.
I love you for whatever I perceive,
Some of which is invisible to you, even.
Can you see the love from your eyes reflected in my own?
My heart is no virtual mirage, but a fertile oasis
Watered with desire; you may lay your love
In the arms of a wandering Dreamer that was.
I shall remember that day forever. When you said
You would never forget me all your life.
Always, always... the memory of the laughter,
The taste of tears, the pain
And the comfort of reassurance
Will soothe me, as it does now;
It will remind me
Of the plain manifestation of our love.
The day came to a close. It left me
More serious; my mind, more grave,
Considering, contemplating and conceptualizing life, as a whole,
From a new perspective. It is no longer possible
To laugh so easily at life's little follies. It left me
That much more in love with you,
And with the Paradise I discovered
In the circle of your arms.

The Real Thing

Moving slowly through the darkness

You always keep me in,

I try, in vain, to touch

The halo of love that encircles you,

My love, whose depth I wish you would contemplate -

My love, whose fate I know nothing of;

My very existence is turbulent. This unrest

I do not want.

Trying to overcome this feeling

Of living on the edge of nothingness,

I attempt, in futility, to fill

The void within me with

Hot tears and heavy sighs.

The hours kill me softly as I

Try to kill the minutes. This emptiness

I do not want.

Waiting for you to stop and realise

How much I love you,

I watch as you continue

To play and strategize;

You do not want to lose.

If only you would see that we can both win

The love of each other. These games

I do not want.

Questioning myself all the time,

I do not doubt my love for you,

But I wonder whether I did right by expressing it.

Everything was perfect until you knew

And then the image of requited love

Suddenly vanished, bringing in its wake

A sense of painful reality, which you created. This hurt

I do not want...

I want real love,

Not a vision...

I want steady love,

Not uncertainty...

And if you cannot give it to me, then I want

Nothing at all.

Unfinished Symphony

You were a drifting melody

That came to greet me
When I least expected it.
First impressions did not last, and you took
Little time to seize my heart's attention;
So simple was your charm, creating
A soulful, desirous effect;
You hardly knew that you were tugging at the strings of my heart
Each time you strummed a chord.
Visions of blind trust, trusting faith and faithful truth
Suddenly became so clear to me.
You were Innocence, which reached out to me;
Touched me,
Then held me in its powerful grasp.
I remember the first night
When I cried for you.
Because I felt for you...
Because life creates circumstances that can ask devastating questions which have no answers...
Because I wanted to find the answers.
Because I wanted to love you...
Because you deserve to be loved.
Stolen moments we had together left me
Longing to replace the missing pieces
And fill the chasms you try to hide
With a smile and a song on your lips.
I remember the first time
When I cried for myself
Because I wanted you to comfort me...
Because I was lost in a sea of confusion so vast that I couldn't get out...
Because I knew you'd understand.
Because I needed you to wipe my tears away...
Because I felt you cared.
Secret passion bearing fruit
In the form of sweet indulgence
So sinful; yet nothing was more delightful,
Or more mellifluous, than the sound of the silent cacophony.
Harmonization of hedonism; tenderness of touch; the mélange of music
Made me want to dwell forever in the halcyon
Woven of dreams, wishes and desires;
Of love, hope and longing;
Of magic, happiness and mystery...
A place where our love would be shared...
A world of our own, which does exist...
Only in our fantasies.

If I Had Your Love…

Justice-Maker, the time has come
When I should ask you
Whether the scales are balanced or not.
There’s nothing more I could possibly add
To what I’ve already said, but you
Have disclosed little to me.
Are you hesitant, or are you just biding your time?
Are you indifferent, or are you only trying to be cautious?
Not merely questions I wish you would answer,
But these are a reflection of my feelings.
Emotions that have been dominating, controlling my life lately;
Feelings, the likes of which are still unbeknownst to you;
You have perceived but a fraction of them.
How I long to show them to you in their entirety.
Justice-Maker, you have an opinion of the world
And your philosophy rings forever in my ears.
You craved love but when
I gave you mine, you neither
Acknowledged nor reciprocated it.
And I do not know, yet, what your brilliant mind formulates.
Do I crush the hope that you’ve planted in my heart?
Do I, instead, allow my love to take root and blossom?
I will eventually know; time will tell, even if you don’t.
Never before has life been so tumultuous:
My mind in a state of emotional conflict, while my body
Completely at rest; externally peaceful, raging inside.
Nothing could be more dangerous.
Please give me deliverance, as only you can.
Justice-Maker, visualize the circumstance.
Not destiny, or madness. Not magic, or luck.
If I had your love, as you have mine, it would be just…
A source of happiness for me.

30 Days

Like a sentence

You delivered the words, so certain;
Yet you made no decision at all.
I anticipated much worse, but you
Made things even more difficult to bear, so difficult
That I wonder if I will survive, whether my heart will rise, or fall
And shatter into a million pieces.
Could anything alleviate the anguish of waiting?
Is this just a test to prove how much I love you?
Should I have to prove the depth of my love after all we’ve said, and haven’t?
Please don’t hurt me; I cannot take it.
My soul cries to be joined eternally to yours, and my tears
Flow freely, trying to wash away the pain.
I want you to kiss away
All my sorrows, disappointments, doubts and fears.
Time stretched to its maximum limit,
Each moment making my love grow to heights it has never achieved before.
I never realized when association turned into affection, or how it became an affliction
Of my heart and of my mind. You have to confess:
You cannot be unreasonable anymore.
If only you’d understand that you don’t need to make our lives
Any more complicated than they already are.
You have lived life longer;
I just wish you would see it through my eyes, just once –
Because true love isn’t love unless the heart is open,
Only then can it receive and give love freely,
And that’s what makes a person stronger.
I want to be with you forever…
I want to see you always…
I want to hold you, listen to you, touch, taste and feel you…
I want to live, and die, for you…
For the simple reason that I love you.

A Prayer

Give me concentration and power of mind, heart, body, soul and conscience. I rule; I will do the right thing. Give me power of discretion between the right and the wrong. I am, and therefore I'll be. Do not let the devil tempt me. Give me wisdom, give me strength. I am not weak, I am strong. Help me. Please.

X = X and Y = Y

There is no other truth. Good equals good. As you sow, so will you reap. Help me remember all that I need to, and forget the rest. That is all I ask of You.

Flaw

I’ve known him all my life,

Partly in dreams, partly in reality.

When I stop dreaming, I realize

How little is real.

I’ve had a million different conversations with him

In a million circumstances, each one perfect, and better

But when I feel his senses on me

My senses just die out.

My mind is alive, groping for something to do, or say.

I forget why I called, and he doesn’t know why I came.

But the difference is,

He doesn’t want to know.

I don’t even know if I’m getting closer.

Don’t they say failures are the stepping stones to success?

There’s so much I want to give him,

But can’t, because maybe I’m not

Capable of it, or accustomed to it,

Or maybe I’m offering him too much.

But who’ll tell me if I am?

I’ve never felt for someone so much.

The problem is, he’s just too good to be true, and, maybe,

His only flaw lies in the heart which has no place for me.

I’ve known him all my life,

And a few others a little less longer

But why is is like that with him?